More gratitude

1. Gorgeous fall colours!
2. A breakthrough moment in my Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction class.
3. J asked a grown-up for a diaper change in the midst of playing in the playground. His willingness to voluntarily stop playing for a diaper change gives me hope he'll eventually be willing to stop playing for potty breaks too. Yes, my three-year-old is not yet toilet-trained. Sometimes I'll be watching him play and he will suddenly throw his arms up in the air as boys do and his shirt will rise up and expose an inch of diaper around his little belly and it is so jarring. He is at that age where he is becoming such a big boy and yet he's still my baby too. Occasionally I call him, "Baby," and he says, "I'm not a baby," and I say, "No, you're not a baby anymore, you're a big boy, but you'll always be mommy's little baby too." He seems to be okay with this. Still, I'm glad we're making a little progress on the diaper front.

Another day's gratitude

1. More gorgeous early fall weather.
2. Our city and its park planners and donors for building the children's garden.
3. I took the initiative and got us out into the park for a picnic on one of the last evenings of summery weather. J and K embraced it. We all enjoyed our picnic, watching the fluffy squirrels race around the hummocks, looking for acorns in the oak leaves, and walking across the fallen tree. I loved spending the evening with my two favourite guys, in their matching NHL team shirts.
4. Yoga.
5. My husband's hockey knowledge. When we got home he got J to try on last year's skates, and determined that they're too small. So adorable to see our little boy standing in skates! They're going to buy a bigger pair tonight.

Daily gratitude

Today I'm grateful for:

1. My husband. I started a drawing class today. It feels crazy to sit and enjoy an art class, which he paid for since he's the one working, while he works so very hard! I love my husband. I am so fortunate. I am grateful for my husband every single today, but this particular day I'm grateful to him for enabling and even encouraging me to take this art class. I was absolutely focused and immersed throughout the class. Thank you honey.
2. The art teacher, for not being overly critical and for even finding room for praise in my absolute beginner drawings. 
3. An incredibly beautiful fall day. Sunny, breezy, hot, and shades of green and orange. Geese everywhere. Ducks coming in for landing, like little winged torpedoes. Amazing. (J and I went to the marsh at 4:30.)
4. Our son J. Again, I'm grateful for J every single day. Today, in particular, I'm grateful to him for letting me backpedal on McDonald's! He requested it; I had nothing planned for supper: I acquiesced. An hour later, driving home from the marsh, I persuaded him that we should just go home and have fish for supper instead. He said, "Okay mom"! I am grateful to him for being such a good boy. And for eating all his fish, most of his quinoa, most of the carrot he really did not want to eat, and all his red pepper pieces. And for deciding after a few minutes that he actually didn't like the blue lollipop that the barber had given him, and throwing it in the garbage.  
5. Two good parking spots in two nearly full lots. (I'm not, however, grateful for the exorbitant cost of parking. Or the two hour max on paid street parking anywhere in this town.)
6. Our dog Charley for a relatively peaceful walk all the way to the strip mall. J for getting into the swing of things and holding my hand when cars passed, and for stopping at intersections. And the pure joy of running with a three-year-old and a Spaniel -- Charley and I running up from behind J, raising the leash high over J's head, and passing J on either side; then letting J pass us; and doing it again and again and again, with laughter and smiles all around. 
7. Two dads, four boys, goalie pads, a pair of nets: driveway hockey.
8. Constructions workers who don't get weird when we sit in the car and watch them work. J loves to watch construction. This morning, it was a concrete driveway pour, with a sky-high pump truck.
9. A great drop-off at J's daycare. Mid-hug he started mumbling something. To my surprise, it was, "I want to play trains with J.B." Well, okay! J.B. was happy to share and they got busy right away. 
10. Another J moment: He picked up a footstool in the interpretive centre at the marsh and carried the footstool over to a display he recalled passing earlier, so he could get a better look. 
11. Happiness.
12. So sad, but so moving: "When does heaven close?" J continues to grieve for our cat Riley, and, less immediately, for my mother. He has asked this twice now, still hoping that Riley will come home when heaven closes, still grappling with the fact that Riley is not coming home. Who else is in heaven? The stick insects, who died at daycare. Riley passed away last December. My mother two years ago. The stick insects, this month. I suppose I'm not really grateful for this moment, but I don't want to forget it. It seems to say so much about J. 

Sweet dreams all. I miss you mom. I love you.